


Through A Door Left Open

by danceswithgary



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: First Time, M/M, Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-15
Updated: 2010-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-13 05:46:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/133641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceswithgary/pseuds/danceswithgary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney figures out that he hadn't given up on being happy after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through A Door Left Open

  
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Click for fullsize](http://pics.livejournal.com/danceswithgary/pic/0027sf2d)   


The party had been impromptu, expanding from a few people in the mess deciding to get together in the largest recreation area to celebrate three disaster-free months and counting in the city's new location. It had seemed like almost everyone off-duty ended up inside the three connecting rooms with their favorite snacks and drinks. When Lorne stopped by John's office to let him know what was going on and that he had the shift covered, John had called Rodney to see if he was interested in meeting there instead of spending the night testing out their latest upgrades to the RC cars.

John is across a crowded room sharing cautionary tales with Ronon's new gate team when he notices Rodney walking in with Radek - both carrying bottles and a few bags of chips. Rodney scans the room and waves at John, but then John quickly loses sight of him in the ebb and flow of laughing, dancing people. After a final lighthearted warning about their team leader's habit of shooting first and asking questions later, John leaves the group behind to wander around the rooms, frowning when he realizes that Rodney is nowhere to be found.

Waving a goodnight to Teyla, who smiles fondly and nods one in return before turning back to her conversation with Woolsey, John heads for the labs, hoping to convince Rodney that he should take the night off like they'd originally planned, but they're dark and empty for a change. Of course, he could use his comm to track Rodney down, but John decides to treat it as a challenge instead.

The next logical place - Rodney's new quarters - shows no sign that Rodney has been there recently when John barges inside, noting in passing that Rodney wouldn't be where they usually race since the souped-up yellow car is still sitting on his desk. Taking a moment, hands on his hips, John pivots to survey the main room then nods in satisfaction at the other personal bits and pieces Rodney has added since moving in. John had been the one who arranged for larger suites for the command staff after they'd received their orders to bring Atlantis home where she belonged. While John hadn't cared one way or the other, he'd thought that Rodney deserved quarters at least as nice as Woolsey's, and he'd known Rodney would never take the time to request them. The smile on Rodney's face when he'd walked inside his new living space had made John's effort worthwhile.

Still not willing to call Rodney, John reaches out to touch the nearest wall, asking Atlantis for a hint as a compromise. It's a neat little trick that he's kept to himself, like the small caches of weapons and supplies he'd tucked away around Atlantis after the big storm and then replenished after they took the city back from the Asurans. Atlantis' answer is an impression of an exterior location near water, but John knows Rodney's not sitting on their usual pier because there's also a feeling of height involved. After thinking for a moment, John pats the wall in thanks and leaves the room, on his way to the balcony Rodney had always used for whale watching, although they haven't found any whales to watch on their new planet.

A few minutes later, standing on the empty balcony, John gives in and starts to call but, just as he reaches up to tap his comm, he spots a solitary figure standing in the moonlight on the terrace above the southwest pier, the place with the view that John has always considered the prettiest on Atlantis. No longer certain he's doing the right thing tracking Rodney down when he obviously wants to be alone, John bites his lower lip as he considers his options. He watches as Rodney begins to pace along the railing with his hands waving, but isn't close enough to make out whether Rodney's talking to himself or to someone else on his comm.

It isn't until John sees Rodney stop to lean against the top rail, his posture slumped and defeated-looking, that John begins to move, knowing he can't just ignore whatever is happening and leave Rodney behind. One transporter ride and three staircases later, John emerges to find Rodney right where he'd last seen him, looking out over the ocean, quiet and alone. Taking a few quiet steps toward him, John stops in surprise when he hears, "I knew you'd track me down, but I thought I'd have a little more time."

Rodney's voice is soft with a hint of amusement, and John frowns a little because the thought that Rodney had been hiding from him leaves John feeling off-balance and worried. Before he can think of what to say in return, Rodney throws another curveball at him.

"I have to admit you picked a good spot when you brought Chaya up here to show off the city. Of course, we've picked up a few more moons and a new set of constellations to name…." Rodney breaks off with a shrug. "Then again, she'll always be beautiful to me…Atlantis, that is."

John takes a step forward, puzzled at Rodney's reference to something John had thought finally relegated to the past. It had been long time since Rodney's last Kirk insult, and John hopes they aren't going to reappear. Considering that after he sat in a strange chair, John could count the number of times that he'd had sex with another person on one hand with fingers left over, Rodney's assessment of John's charms had always been annoying and unfair. Even when they'd been on Earth, John had never been interested in anonymous hookups or one-night stands. He doesn't anticipate that changing anytime soon - even though fraternization is no longer an issue with AT-1 disbanded and it's now safe to ask or tell. He's settled for friendship since the one person he's been interested in for years hasn't been available.

The same person who still hasn't turned around to face John and who'd never had to ask because John had told late one night after too many beers.

"I suppose you're wondering what I'm doing out here, but it should be obvious, really." An almost imperceptible slur is a hint that Rodney hadn't let the party until after he'd had a few drinks, but John can also tell Rodney's not significantly impaired. "I'm thinking, because that's what I do best. I think, I hypothesize, I analyze, I correlate, and postulate."

"And?" John asks, curious about what had required a moonlit balcony to ponder. He joins Rodney at the railing, close enough to appreciate the warmth of Rodney's body because the night air was chilly and he'd forgotten to grab his jacket before commencing his search.

Rodney doesn't answer right away and John is ready to nudge him with an elbow, but then he turns his head enough to slant a smile in John's direction and say, "I thought I left the whole 'and they lived happily ever after' back on Earth with Jennifer, along with my chance at a Nobel." Looking back at the water, he shrugs. "I was okay with that because this is where I belong, not working in some ivory tower lab where no one has any idea what's out here and then going home every night to my four-bedroom split-level in the suburbs complete with a wife, 2.5 kids, and a stupid mutt that always chases the cat."

The touch of self-derision in Rodney's quasi-complaint reminds John that they'd never talked about what had happened between Rodney and Jennifer. John only had what he'd heard through the grapevine; she'd accepted an impressive offer from the Mayo Clinic that meant she wouldn't be a galaxy away from her ailing father. He's just been glad that Rodney had chosen Atlantis and fine with leaving it at that, but now he offers a quiet, "I'm sorry about Jennifer."

"That's just it. I'm _not_ ," Rodney huffs. "I didn't even have to think about it when she told me she'd accepted the offer and then proposed. I said I couldn't marry her and leave you…I mean, Atlantis and…everyone." Rodney waves a hand over his head to point back at the city. "And that's all she wrote. The end. And I really, really thought I was okay with giving up on that, knowing this…" Turning around, Rodney leans back against the railing and gestures again toward the lighted towers, his voice oddly lighter than his words. "…will be as good as it ever gets for me."

Mimicking Rodney's pose, John waits patiently because, knowing Rodney, there has to be more, but the silence continues until John deploys his elbow and asks with a worried frown, "But now you're not okay with it?"

"No." Rodney shakes his head and huffs a laugh before amending his answer. "I mean, yes, I am, but it's more than that. I was watching you… _everyone_ smiling and laughing together tonight and something I'd been wondering about for a while all came together, and I needed some time alone to process it."

John shivers in a sudden breeze and rubs his arms, but his exclusion where he'd always been welcome before is responsible for at least part of the chill he's feeling. He understands that Rodney's entitled to his privacy, but the slips Rodney keeps making imply John is part of the problem and he's always preferred being a solution. Straightening up, he nods and starts to walk away with a muttered, "Sorry, I'll just leave you…."

The warmth of the hand on his forearm is startling, but as welcome as Rodney's sputtered, "Wait, that's not what I meant. Not you, John. I don't want you to leave."

John turns back to look into Rodney's face, thankful for the bright moonlight that allows him to see the concern crinkling the corners of Rodney's eyes, the worry line between his brows that tells John that Rodney needs him to stay and listen. He's never found it easy to deny Rodney when he asks for something, and this time is no exception. "Okay. Then here I am."

With a roll of his eyes that smoothes away the worry line, Rodney laughs a little sarcastically. "And so you are. Thank you, Colonel Obvious, and may I just say that I'm so very glad I don't have to remember a new rank with your latest promotion."

Rodney's fingers lightly stroke the inside of John's arm just above his wristband, and John shivers again but he doesn't pull away. After a few quiet moments, Rodney tilts his head and John recognizes the smile that appears, the same one Rodney wears whenever he discovers something very cool that he wants to share with John. Rodney's voice lowers to a soft murmur, and John leans in closer so that he won't miss a word, feeling warmth spreading through him from Rodney's fingertips. "I've always wanted you to stay with me, John. Just how much I want that is part of what I realized earlier."

John remembers Rodney's awkward corrections, adds them to the touching, and John's calculations leave him feeling off-balance and a little breathless, afraid that he's reading too much into Rodney's words and actions because John's wanted things, too. He opens his mouth to say something, anything, but words fail him as they usually do when it comes to John talking about his feelings.

Thankfully, Rodney picks up the slack, although he's just as silent. Tugging gently, he pulls John closer and then reaches out with his other hand, rubs his thumb back along John's jaw and then upward to his temple, slides his fingers into John's hair and back to cradle his head. John's eyelids half-close in bliss at the touch and he bites his lower lip to keep in the moan that almost escapes, but that fails when Rodney's lips press up softly at the corner of John's mouth.

One more step and John is standing between the spread of Rodney's legs, Rodney's arms wrapping around John with the strength they'd always promised. With a slight dip of his head, John returns Rodney's tentative first kiss with one deep enough to banish any remaining doubt that John wants what Rodney is offering. Pressing close, surrounded by Rodney's warmth, John is no longer feeling any cold.

"Not just tonight," Rodney breathes between kisses. "We're more than that."

John rubs his cheek against Rodney's as he nods in agreement, nuzzles under Rodney's ear and whispers, "Yes, yes, we are." Slipping a hand around to Rodney's back, John growls a little in frustration at the jacket's tight fit that prevents him from touching the skin underneath. He settles for letting his palm slide lower to rest on a soft curve while his other hand fumbles for the jacket zipper.

Rodney laughs when John hits a ticklish spot then pushes him back enough to grin and say, "You know, I'm not really into PDAs, so what say we take this inside? My room?"

Taking a deep breath, John steps back and rubs his nape, more than a little embarrassed by his loss of control. "Sorry, I…."

"No, no, no, don't apologize." Rodney pushes away from the railing to pull John close again. "This is…you're…." He presses a quick kiss to John's lips and then smiles. "Whatever you want is fine with me."

Relieved by Rodney's easy acceptance, John relaxes into a low chuckle. "Your quarters are good." He's startled into a laugh when Rodney grabs his hand and starts towing John back to the city. "You in a hurry, buddy?"

"I am until we're in my room," Rodney tosses back over his shoulder along with a smirk. "Then I plan on taking things very, _very_ slowly."

The heat in Rodney's voice curls around John, warming him with the promise. Going slow sounds perfect to him, although it might be tough to hold back after waiting and wanting for too many years. He speeds up and manages to make it through the door before Rodney, surprising another laugh out of him, and then they're both half-running down the hallway to the transporter, crowding inside and wrestling a little over the map. John wins by distracting Rodney with another kiss while he taps the screen.

When the doors slide open again, John takes the lead, his arousal growing with every step closer to Rodney's quarters. Taking advantage of the access Rodney had always granted him, John slips through the door without slowing, pulling Rodney in after him. Pressing Rodney back against the nearest wall, John reclaims Rodney's lips while working on the zipper that had foiled his earlier attempt. His second try a success, John moans as he slides his hands under Rodney's shirt to touch soft, warm skin, his knees almost buckling when he feels Rodney using his broad hands for some devastating touching of his own in-between fumbling at John's buttons.

So hard that he aches, John drags his mouth away with an effort and drops his head to Rodney's shoulder, takes a deep, shuddering breath before rasping, "Fuck, Rodney. I know you want…slow, but I…I can't hold on much longer."

Rodney shifts one hand to rub the back of John's neck as he presses a soft kiss to John's temple and murmurs, "Hey, it's okay. We can do slow later."

John nods and slides down to his knees, sucking in a sharp breath at the pressure edging him closer to pain than pleasure. Rodney takes over when John's fingers fumble at Rodney's zipper, easing his pants open with sigh of relief. John doesn't waste any time, his mouth already watering at the sight of Rodney's thick, ruddy cock. He licks up the underside and sucks the slick, puffy head in so fast that Rodney yelps, "John!" his palm slapping against the wall.

It's been a long time for John, but he hasn't forgotten the pleasure of stretching his lips around smooth, heated skin, the salt-sweet taste, the smell of clean male musk. He holds Rodney steady in one hand as he sucks and presses the other against the front of his BDUs, both unwilling and unable to stop long enough to unbutton. It's more than enough to take him over the edge, and John groans as he pulses hot and wet against his palm, then chokes a little as Rodney follows, his hand shaking as he rests it atop John's head.

"You…you are…so incredible," Rodney gasps, curling forward in an awkward hug as his breathing begins to slow. John rests his head against Rodney's belly, his eyes drooping closed in relief for a few seconds before Rodney stirs and urges John to his feet with, "Come on, you need to get up. Why sleep on your knees when there's a comfortable bed not very far away?" When John blinks up at him, Rodney frowns a little and asks, "You are staying, right? We did say there would be a later."

"If that's what you want," John assures him as he slowly creaks his way upward.

Rodney's arm tightens around John's waist on their way across the room, but he waits until John is undressed and sliding under the covers before he says quietly, "If I get what I want, then you'll never leave."

John waits for Rodney to settle on his stomach next to him then rolls to his side so that he can see Rodney's face and sling an arm across Rodney's shoulders. Rubbing gentle circles with his fingertips, he yawns and asks sleepily, "Before, you said wanting me to stay was part of what you realized. What else?"

Rodney blinks at him a few times, as though puzzled by the question, and then smiles. "It was when I looked across the room and saw you laughing at something Ronon said. Watching you made me smile, and suddenly I knew that I hadn't given up on being happy after all." Reaching out, Rodney rests his hand on John's cheek and brushes his thumb across John's lips, then shifts enough to replace it with his lips for a sweet, soft kiss before he finishes his answer.

"All I had to do was take a chance."

 

  
_Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. ~John Barrymore_   


**Author's Note:**

> Written for [BJ Friday prompt - All about Pleasure](http://melagan.livejournal.com/229223.html) and [McSheplets Challenge #84 Happy](http://community.livejournal.com/mcsheplets/).


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